A writer.

*This is a post for my NaNoWriMo 2014 attempt! It isn’t edited, except for the parsing down of thousands of words to a manageable size. Or a pretend manageable size. There are typos and missing words and potentially, the beginning of the post will have nothing to do with the end. But I remind you, “editing is for December.” So don’t judge too harshly, this is writing for writing’s sake! Enjoy!


People. I can’t tell you what a frustrating week it’s been at work. I’d love to rant and rave about it for hours (infact, my poor darling roommates have had to deal with my incoherent babbling all week, so appreciate your physical distance from me right now.)

But talking about what makes me angry just makes me angrier. Instead I’m going to try and focus on something positive. It’s sort of an assignment I got from work, actually, but it’s something I’ve alway wanted to write about.

How I became a writer.

Now, to clarify, I am not a writer.

Confusing, I know, but bear with me here.

Writing was what I best at in school. I’m talking since elementary school. The 5th grade, we were told to write a story that described what Jonas found in his hypothermic state, after leaving his hometown at the end of The Giver. My story was a description of assimilation into a society misunderstood by the main character, and a lack of acceptance of the unknown into the traditions of this new world. Age 11, people.

In the 6th grade, the creative writing prompt was picture-based; everyone pick one of these pictures and write a story to accompany it. Groans from all my classmates, and a 20-page story from me. 20 pages, for a 2-page assignment. I distinctly remember the picture but only vaguely remember the story I wrote. Up until that point, my favorite part of school had been reading, but I was beginning to separate the two crafts in my head – the difference between reading and writing. To me, they had always been two peas in a pod, one in the same. But now, they were beginning to seem like very different pastimes. Still pastimes though.

I struggled through high school math classes and excelled in english and came out on the positive side of average in everything else. In 9th grade, I scored 99 out of 100 on the English Regents Exam (an awful standardized test, for anyone who doesn’t live in NY.) I can also pinpoint exactly the singular question I got wrong; it was about a volcano…

Then came electives. OH GOSH, THE FREEDOM.

But what was left to me after deductively reasoning out math, science, business and marketing courses, “Family and Consumer Science,” technology education, extra social studies, additional music, expanded extra languages? English. Seven pages of english electives and only three years in which to take them. The course structure hasn’t changed much in the 5 years since I graduated, so reading straight from the handbook I found on Google, I can tell you I took Public Speaking, Children’s Literature (Kiddie Lit,) Suspense and the Supernatural, a Shakespeare course – there was little to no demand for it when I was there, so I’m not surprised it’s gone – and Intro to Journalism, also gone.

It was in my creative writing class that I found the release in storytelling. I learned about myself and my writing habits and how they differed from other people and I finally met some interesting characters in my own high school.

I met some writers. Some skilled, some pompous. My first introduction into the world of art and artists and the many lines drawn and crossed and erased and made up. I remember a ton of the people in that class by name and face and that’s saying a lot, seven years after the fact.

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NaNoWriMo is NaNoNOW

HELLO BLOG HOW ARE YOU, YOU LOOK SO LOVELY. I’ve missed you so. I think about you a lot. But it’s hard to focus on a relationship as important as this one, when we’re both so busy doing other things.

But it’s November, and that means NaNoWriMo! I wouldn’t do a good job of describing it in my own words, so, from the site itself;

crest-bda7b7a6e1b57bb9fb8ce9772b8faafbNational Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing. On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm, determination, and a deadline, NaNoWriMo is for anyone who has ever thought fleetingly about writing a novel.”

Now, I tried NaNo once before, sophomore year of college, when my best friends were all doing it because we were either journalism or creative writing majors, and it was in our very nature to spend our free time writing.

I didn’t finish. I didn’t even get halfway. I can’t even remember what I was writing about, if it was about anything at all. (NOTE: I TOTALLY REMEMBER NOW. That’s a story for a different day.) But I don’t follow through on well, most things I do. I have tons of [great?] ideas and sometimes they just fall short. I often put my job, my friends, my family, all before things that I want to accomplish or undertake. So that’s not surprsing, really.

But I’m going to attempt NaNo 2014, because my job is reaching new levels of crazy stressful and my friends are split between New York and Long Island and I miss my family more than ever before and money is tight what with paying rent for the first time in my life and incurring all my own bills [but Mooooooom.] The responsibilities just pile up and I need a way to unwind. I have some social reservations that keep me from engaging in certain activities that might help with the whole, chill the fuck out thing. Like the gym. I used to love working out, in college I really enjoyed playing sports (which I suck at) or going for a run (which I suck at) or spending an hour at the gym (which I just straight up don’t do) but, like I said, I’ve got some personal issues keeping me from doing these things.

So, where do I find my outlet?

GOD I'm so funny, how does anyone stand it?

GOD I’m so funny, how does anyone stand it?

We’ll I’m gonna give my blog another try. I definitely can’t say that I’ll have time to write everyday, considering it’s November 5th and only my second day of sitting down and writing. But I’m going to try. When inspiration strikes, instead of watching six episodes of Gilmore Girls I’ll write for as long as I can, about as much as I can, in the form of as many blog posts as I can.

There’s no theme, much like my blog now has no theme. Sorry rules of the internet. But I just can’t stick to a theme. I can’t pick a passion. One thing that I love above all else. So I’ll write about whatever my heart desires and anyone who doesn’t like it can bleep bleep bleep bleep you thought this was going to be something dirty, didn’t you. [Highlight to read.]

It’s for me. Kudos to my friends whose blog are about their passion or like, a really friggen terrific idea. I’m going to write posts about some of my potentially terrific ideas that I just can’t see through to the end, and maybe someone will steal them and I’ll be super jaded about it and life will get interesting.

But maybe not. For now, good luck to everyone doing NaNoWriMo! For the first time, for the millionth time, for those who will never finish and to those who already have (those people don’t exist.)

I hope to post as many relevant rants here as I can. Some may be more suited for my work blog, because we haven’t posted anything on that since July. Sad. So watch out for typos and mistakes and stupid fuck ups because remember, editing is for December. (I love that tagline. Totally brilliant.)