Dumb Phrases I Refuse to Google

And now, a series of phrases that confuse me but I have yet to bother looking up the origin of – 

“Shit-eating grin”

What even is a shit-eating grin? If I had to describe a shit-eating grin, I don’t think I could. Like, I don’t think I could draw one. It’s just a term I use to describe a grin that does not express a contagious-type of happiness. Plus I can’t draw. So whatever. 

“Fresher than a motherfucker” 

Literally, ew. But in terms of cultural context, when you call someone a motherfucker, it’s typically a bad thing, right? When you’re reading character dialogue and someone says, “You motherfucker!” -there’s a definite tone of anger in their voice, they despise them! And to be fresher than someone or something is to be better than them – being of a higher current social status. But isn’t everyone better than motherfuckers? They already suck!

Help me, Chris Brown, you’re my only hope.

#OhWaitDon’tIHateYou

#OhWaitDon’tIHateYou

“Sick as a dog” 

My dogs have always been the picture of health. Until they die. Actually, that whole downward spiral is really sad to watch. 

…oh.

FiddlerFiddler

…so is THIS a shit-eating grin?

“Fit as a fiddle” 

I don’t actually care about this phrase. I never use it, nor do I care where it came from. The unhealthy dog reminded me of it though, and it made me laugh. Animals = sick, but inanimate objects are right as rain. Right as rain. Oh my god, this could go on all day. 

“First annual” 

This is not actually confusing – simply infuriating. Having been trained in the ancient and most-respected art of journalism, it is a FACT that there is no such thing as a first annual anything. Annual defines a recurring event, and if something is happening for the first time, intent aside, there’s nothing annual about it. 

“For all intents and purposes”

Raise your hand if it took two years of college for someone to finally correct your assumption that this was for all intensive purposes. Join the club. 

CRUSH HIM.

CRUSH HIM.

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” 

I’m not even sure I have that right. But I’m pretty sure there was an episode of Nickelodeon’s Doug that made fun of that phrase when Iw as younger. Or maybe it was Hey Arnold. Or both. It clearly has no agreed-upon meaning and no one should use it ever.

What phrases bother you? There’s lots of things that bother me, so thanks for listening to me bitch.

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2 thoughts on “Dumb Phrases I Refuse to Google

  1. Idioms are weird, no matter what language they’re in! I remember learning some in AP Italian… like “Wives and oxen from your own town” which means stick to your own kind. Okay, Italy.

    • That is a fantastic turn of phrase! My favorite is the part where women fit for marriage and animals used for labor are two interchangeable things.

      But no, that’s really funny. #GabyFact

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